Sort of Everything

I guess pain really could get you places. 

What’s with these angels and saints that’s

trying to talk about virtue with me?

That life is not hell should i try to be more holy

when all i could hear is you

when all i could see is you

when i spend every minute thinking of you

when all i live and breathe for is you

They said falling from grace is a nightmare

Grace? the world can burn for all i care

but seriously…

What would i do with grace if you’re not here

Here with me in the land of the living?

Even in afterlife that scene is still chilling

Thinking how i couldn’t end up with you

Whether I live or die?

So take me to the chapel

Where you first felt the warmth

The embrace of the Almighty Father

So that I may understand

Why in this life i couldn’t have you

And just die when i try

Because the endless chorus of hell

Is just a You away.

I started writing this after having an inadequate epiphany in the middle of the night as i cry myself to sleep. and my thoughts was just “sort of everything”

XIV

In that first morning when our eyes met 
I never could understand what I've felt
All I ever knew is you were there
Silently standing and all i could do is stare

I remember your laugh that fills the room
Your smiles that makes me instantly swoon
Your voice so calm that touched my soul

As time ravages everything in it's path
It's hard to see that we are not immune to that
Soon we forget and ultimately grew apart
That sadness over someone you can't have

Silence was often times my company
It's more than anyone else actually
Through silence i could dream and see
Through silence i could hear you distantly

Maybe when the time is right for us and for anyone
I wish to say the things that I kept before i'm gone
And when our hearts are ready to forgive
I pray that we'll be friends as long as we live

Happy Birthday 🎈


This day of the year has come again
When we celebrate your special day
Some would have gifts and hugs
Some would just offer prayers to God

But today i wanted to be grateful
For you've been brought to this world
A gift to us so precious and beautiful
To share and preach the gospel of the Lord

I'm grateful for the times you got me inspired
every minute of it feels I have a purpose in this life
I'm grateful for the lessons I learned through you
For it gave my world color and not just blue

I'm grateful for every shade and hue
For I've been blessed enough to see you
I'm grateful for every minute i spent with you
I'm grateful I once got to know you



XXIII

In my waking days until my last 
The sight of you is all I want
To drench myself in your smiles
To feel your warm touch in mine

To sit in the meadows adorned with lilies
And feel the sun in that April breeze
To trace the lines to your beating heart
And dream that we’ll never be apart

I want to feel safe in your embrace
Through my most dark of days
And to never leave your gaze
In all of this earth and space

To dance under the moonlight
The kind that they do in Rio
And I’ll hold you in my arms cariño
Now until forever porque te amo

XXVI

This is a poem written some time ago yet, It is just now that I found courage to share it with you. 
Minsan sa aking buhay ako'y nakaranas 
Magmahal na tila hanggang sa wakas 
Na sa bawat oras sa aking mukha'y mababakas
kasiyahaang walang paglagyan at ngiting di kumukupas
Sa pagsikat at paglubog ng araw at sa bawat oras


Minsan sa aking buhay ako'y nagmahal
Higit pa sa kaya kong ibigay 
Pagibig na buo, totoo at bukal
Pagibig na kayang itaya maski sariling buhay 


Marahil sa bawat oras na mayroon tayo 
Hindi man lang ako sumagi sa isipan mo
Ngunit sa bawat segundo at minuto 
Sa aking puso't isipa'y laging kang nandito


Hindi kita masisi sapagkat sino nga ba ako?
Isa lang naman ako sa napakaraming tao
Na unang nagmahal at patuloy na nagmamahal sa'yo 
Kaya kung aking titimbangin ako'y talo


Ngunit sa sandaling pagkakataon na ika'y nakatawanan
nakausap, nayakap at nakasama
Tila ika'y matagal ko ng kilala 
Tila simula pa noong ating mga pagkabata


Nakakatawa mang isipin 
O baka nga'y isipin mo ako'y baliw
Ngunit ang puso'y di kayang magsinungaling
Dahil alam nito kung sino ang ating mamahalin


At sa aking pagpili na ika'y mahalin
Kaakibat nito'y sakit at hapdi
Dahil una palang akin ng alam 
Na mali ang aking nararamdaman 


Maging kaibigan man o isang kakilala
Ngunit sa kabila ng mga sakit
Ako'y nagpapasalamat 
At Palutoy na magpapasalamat dahil


Nagkaroon ng kahulugan, kabuluhan at kasaysayan ang aking buhay 
Baon ko ang mga masasayang alaala 
Na minsan ika'y aking nakilala 


Pinaikot mo ang aking munting mundo
Nagkaroon ng halaga ang bawat oras at minuto
At sa mga pagsikat at paglubog ng mga araw 
Magsisimula at magwawakas sa salitang "ikaw"
Created some time in August 2020

IX

The silence grew louder in my solitude
The night crept as the shadows move
The cold august breeze has found its way
And all those memories slipped away

Out of all those memories I have lost
It was the beginning that I miss the most
The first time that I ever saw your eyes
Or the dimples that appears when you smile

I miss the first time that I held your hand
And your laugh that sends chills to my spine
Your voice that echoes through my soul
You're the everything that makes me whole

As if the angels have gathered to welcome me
To the life as close to heaven it could be
Where it’s only your life I could breathe
My own paradise, my utopia to keep

It is without regret I must confess
That to get to you I must fall from grace
So that my mortal hands can touch your face
To go through all that pain for you're my solace

To journey from hell to reach you in heaven
I call on my lost saints and angels praying
To guide me to you and witness your grace
Before my dying eyes to hold and gaze
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